• Added: 9th of March 2007
• Area: Charing Cross
• Category: Restaurants

London WC2E 9HH
020 7836 3033

robcarter said
The Parisien Great Gatsby in London, circa 1974
Just a quick note on this place. Started last in 2006 by a group of like-minded chaps who have worked man (and woman) and boy (and girl) in the bar/restaurant trade. They picked up all of the tricks, ambiences and nuances of their favourite places of all time and tried to meld them together here.

In my opinion they have done a great bit of melding. I think I must share many of their sensibilities and, as I hurtle towards my fourth decade, I think I now look for different things in a watering hole than I used to.

This place is really a seamless mix of 1920's America (check for mint juleps on the lovely cocktail menu; think Brett Easton Ellis meets the Great Gatsby), 1970's London (before red braces and porsche 944's; when lunch wasn't for wimps) and a timeless Parisien cafe (fish soupe, roux and thimble full of frothy lager).

The music is varied but always right, the noise is usally from talking rather than basslines; I think Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye were the theme of the evening at my last visit. The staff know their winelist backwards and will recommend something dependent on a quick quiz of what you like in a wine. Their cocktail menu is really unusual and has at least six wine-based coolers; which I have found a penchant for. The have a delicatessen which serves lovely plates of meats, cheese and fish which come with nice crusty bread. Blissfully they serve this right up until closing - why isn't that more common?

Really this place is the sum of awesome attention to detail, every wine is a winner, all of the staff are trained, ashtrays emptied, floor swept, music just so and, something that appeals to my Piscean obsession to detail, every fresh glass is bloody spotless.

Open Monday to Saturday 12 til 12, this is a lovely secret wedged in between the Strand and Covent Garden, underground at the bottom of Bedford Street. Excellent for social afterwork drinks or pre- or post- (or both) theatre drinks. Really verging on 5 stars but I think that category can be overused and the place is often pretty busy.

• Added: 6th of February 2007
• Area: Leicester Square
• Category: Restaurants

London WC2H 9NE
020 7010 8600

robcarter said
Declaration of intent...
This catchily named-restaurant will be reviewed in two parts; the prologue being the restaurant and the epilogue, the bar.

Prologue: Joel Robuchon was voted the "Chef of the [last] Century" by the other great chefs of the world. "This is going to have to be amazing", I thought.

London is M. Robuchon's newest Atelier (workshop; he IS French). To add to his collection of New York, Vegas, Paris and Tokyo. By all accounts - they are all the same thing. Like a monumentally expensive McDonald's you know what you are going to get when you walk in: from your Rolls Royce parked in the street.

It should be noted that his choice of location, really IS a declaration of intent. The next door restaurant is The Ivy. The luvvies' favourite; the choice of the nouveau riche and ill-informed. Its where Tess Daly and Vernon Kay eat. With Chris Moyles.

L'Atelier will take on the role of The Ivy easily; it may be dark but it is hugely small and cozy; you would not be able to hide here.

To the decor. This place is like a japanese health spa meets an 1980s nightclub. Its dark, chic, shiny, black marble, dark wenge wood, red leather on the seats, red glassware at the table settings and hanging baskets of fresh chilis. This is not really to my taste but feels inviting, strangely.

However once sat at the bar - where you eat cheek by jowl with the next party of people talking self-consciously quietly - the flashiness and the shininess makes a bit more sense. As your eyes adjust to the lighting you see that you are in full view of the kitchen. This is again small but over-full with silently moving shadows all dressed in black, mutely slicing, dicing and, interestingly, repeatedly needling food with toothpicks until the presentation was just so.

Most of the cooking (apart from some preparation and pastry making - which is banished to the basement) is straight on the hotplate (teppanyaki) - again in eerie silence.

It is this cooking method that intrigues me along with the whole concept of the place. The intimacy of a japanese restaurant has been [con?]fused with the popularity of french buttery cooking. Sounds like a great concept. But the seating is too intimate, the atmosphere too quiet (Friday lunch should be one of the busiest times of the week!), to let you speak with confidence that others aren't listening. This is bad for a business lunch anywhere but the Brits hate to hear themselves talk so we end with a competion to speak almost inaudibly; desperate not to let our neighbours hear a thing.

If you come with a party greater than 2 the above gripe is irrelevant as the 3 or more of you will be sat in a line along a bar, unable to communicate in any other method but chinese whispers.

You choose much like Ramsay's Maze (see another one of my reviews - current favourite restaurant!) with either main course sizes or tasting menu size (a third of the food at half the price but you get to sample a load of the menu).

At 'The Workshop' however, this leads to smaller portions than any more than one person can enjoy and surely the point is for everyone to 'try'. No? You think its vulgar to share food? Off the same plate? Ok then, well you're entitled to your opinion...

The food. In short a bit of a let down. The problem being that the is the Chef of the Century here - surely it should 'blow your mind'. The Pied De Cochon was the stand out favourite for me, that's French, it was really great. As was the quail, even the main course size of this was tiny. The mash here is simply barely textured butter, but you convince yourself its mash and that it is the best mash you have ever had; mildly flavoured with truffle. But for instance the Lentil Veloute was just good - not amazing.

Thats the problem here. The place is too hyped and expensive for there to be a moment of disappointment.

Lets hope Tess and Vernon don't stop posing for long enough to taste anything properly.

Above the restaurant there is the second restaurant - La Cuisine - the same but not as well designed by all accounts and above that, high above Soho, is the bar...

Epilogue: We needed somewhere to discuss the lunch. We were both a tiny bit let down and needed to talk through it. We had heard about the bar. We were not disappointed.

This was perfect. The blackout curtains stopped the obtrusive daylight, the leather bucket seats allowed for a perfect chat, the service slightly too slow but inobtrusive the cocktails lovingly prepared, the fire and light music allowed for the chat to venture to a louder volume than the restaurant had afforded us. They also transferred the bill upstairs which just made life easier.

This place would look the same at 1pm as it would at 3am - decadent isn't a strong enough word for the decor; it verges on the pornographic. Plush, sensuous and intimate.

The bar totally makes up for the restuarant - maybe enquire and do your pre- or post- dinner drinks here and go somewhere else. Or perhaps before the show, stop into the bar.

Superb.

• Added: 10th of January 2007
• Area: Bankside
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SE1 9RL
020 7378 7776

robcarter said
Theatre Bar Dungeon
This really is wierd. You enter through a small door off the tube concourse under London Bridge station. Walk for about 500 metres underground down a poorly lit tunnel with what I can only describe as caves left and right of you. Eventually you walk through a cinema/theatre round the bend and then into a huge space under the station. 8 or 10 metres tall easy. All the time dodging rubble and puddles.

We walked through (picking up drinks at the small bar) and found space at a grand piano painted with egg-shell white emulsion, where we could perch and chat.

By this time I still couldn't see anything - it really is VERY dark. I therefore can't tell you what the crowd is like - I couldn't really see anyone's face.

This place is now a members bar (25 per quarter or 5 per day) open wednesdays to saturdays. Cheapish wine and changeable drinks. Table football - impossible by candlelight. Although cold its a strangely nice feeling of coolness/relaxedness.

I think Nigel (barman?/owner?/bloke who i met who knew more than I did and who also knew the other members of staff) said it best when he said that it is "a decadent waste of space in a city where space it at a premium".

Worth a visit just for the spectacle. And cheaper than the London Dungeon...

Look out for 'special secret gigs' (a common place for them apparently) and guerilla performance art. On the night I was there a completely naked man appeared to 1950s B-movie music and proceeded to stand on chairs before buckets of glue, cement, glitter, pingpong balls and water were dropped on him from the ceiling. Interesting. Especially when you see said naked bloke, with rapidly solidifying cement/glue/glitter mix having a drink at the bar afterwards...

You're intrigued now aren't you?

• Added: 8th of January 2007
• Area: St James's
• Category: Arts and Culture

London SW1Y 5AH
020 7930 3647

robcarter said
SW1 Art
I have been accused of repeatedly giving favourable reviews. Like The Simpsons where Homer gives every resaurant 9 thumbs up.

I just try only to go to good places - sorry.

My new fave place to meet for a quiet or warm-up beer is the ICA bar. Its set in the Institute of Contemporary Arts (on The Mall no less) at the bottom of those huge steps at the bottom of Lower Regent Street.

As you might expect for something the Queen passes on a daily basis, this place is not cheap - but by no means is this place extortionate.

The food is pretty good and loads of veggie stuff so meeting crusty friends here is not only allowed but positively encouraged; I had the beef burger and we shared meze.

As you can imagine the crowd is pretty posh/artsy/cool. But unlike most gallery bars, not very touristy. Probably because its not one of 'the majors' all of which are pretty close by.

Membership is about 35 per annum (www.ica.org.uk) and well worth it as you get invited to boozy freebie exhibition openings and you have access to the bar which is open til 1 am most days. A bargain of a members bar... day membership is 2.

A kind of institutional feel to the bar really but in a familiar and nice way; those moulded plastic chairs with metal legs in bright orange. Friendly and studenty staff and always a nice buzz. A great start for a night of bar crawling - or an excellent place for the catch -up beer/snack/chat type thing I seem to do a lot.

• Added: 1st of December 2006
• Area: Birmingham
• Category: Stations and Transport

Birmingham B76 9HF

robcarter said
Complicit Speeding
Ok a weird one. The M6 Toll road. In my work I have occasional cause to drive (I know; filthy habit) to the North West. This has always necessitated the passing of Birmingham.

Passing the RAC headquarters at Birmingham seems to throw drivers into a confused mess. They stop. Perhaps to admire its mid-nineties modernist glassy stylings, maybe to marvel that wherever you are in the country, if you phone the RAC, your call will be put through to someone with a headset on fed up of watching static traffic out the window, sat right there in Birmingham, or maybe even to take pictures to show the grandchildren.

Whatever the reason may actually be, driving from London to the North West is let down by Birmingham and more specifically the rubbernecking at this glass monolith.

Help is now at hand in the form of the M6 Toll section. Its not actually the M6; its another brand new road. You pay to use it, its like France in that respect. Not much; 2 or something.

You're thinking "2 to go on a road. All the others are free!" You're right of course. But if I said, give me 2 and I'll give you an extra hour or so of your life. And not the bad, nappy-wearing part of your life, the good bit, when they still let you drive and you have all of (or most of) your faculties. You'd pay right? Exactly.

Now the icing on the cake is that this new road seemingly has no speed limit. Now I am not condoning speeding but they (M6 Toll Road owners? Police? just "they" OK!) seem to have taken the commercial view that, if people have to pay then they should be receiving some beneficial service or preferential treatment. The kicker of this payment is the 'blind eye' turned to driving fast.

A recent report cited the road as the fastest motorway in the country with the daytime AVERAGE speed being 79mph and the same at night time a staggering 88mph (we're looking at YOU Marty McFly).

Also its well lit, dead flat and even has gently banked curves for cornering. All in all, if you are going to speed anyway, and you have a safe car in which to do it, and your driving and reactions are up to the task, then the M6 Toll Road is the best place in the country to do so.

The big downside obviously is the fact that you miss out that big tourist attraction, the RAC building just outside of Walsall. You have to factor this into your decision.

DISCLAIMER: Do not come crying to me if you are caught 'driving it like you stole it' down the M6 Toll Road. Other roads are available.

• Added: 15th of November 2006
• Area: Kensington
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London W8 4PT
020 7361 1910

robcarter said
A View to End All Views (a.k.a. I want a T-Shirt)
I have stooped low before and I will again. I like keeping great places, especially ones that are never busy for reasons I cannot fathom, a secret, but I like you guys; huddle in.

The Royal Garden Hotel on Ken High Street is not the prettiest hotel in the world, inside or out. It does FEEL old though, in that great way old hotels do - especially in London. Brass fitments that gleam as if new with polish but you just know they have been attended to twice a day for years, under the direction of an unexplainably posh hotel manager. This hotel was one of the England football team's residences during the 1966 world cup. Its not even very old but it has that feeling.

Its also got that feeling that old hotels have of deadened silence, like you don't belong there, or shouldn't be making a noise, like an imposing gallery (the Turner section of the Tate Britain) or museum (the old insect section of the Natural History that families avoid) or great library (the Bodleian at Oxford) or society (The Royal Society building, just off Pall Mall). That is such a great feeling. Deafening silence mingled with austerity and history.

(All of those places in brackets - go to them)

Anyway.

After stopping briefly to suck in THAT feeling, pass through the foyer, get in the lift and get up to the tenth floor.

You will find an uninspiring bar, leatherish bucket seats, blonde wood veneer, brass buttoned barman.

But the view. Across Hyde Park from the south western corner you can see the whole park but more than that; beyond you can see a panorama of London stretching from Kensington Palace on your left to Battersea Power Station on your right.

You can sit there pointing out landmarks for hours, drinking in the view. You can see, in no particular nor extensive order, the big spinny wheel, the BT tower, Centre Point, the Houses of Parliament, the Royal Society Building (see above), the Royal Albert Hall, 30 St Mary's Axe (the Gherkin), Westminster Abbey, Canary Wharf and all those tosspots rollerblading around below you. (Also if you are reading this in a few years' time, possibly in a book or book-like digital tablet, you can see the "Shard of Glass".)

For this reason I suggest going in daylight (I have never been at night), in fact just before sundown at this time of year (early winter) would be great. I am also reliably(ish) informed that there is a half-price Champagne between 6-7pm Mon-Fri promotion running.

Now, if that isn't reason enough to get down there, you are made of stone. This place is WAY better than that bloody wheel and you aren't charged fifteen quid for the privilege.

• Added: 13th of November 2006
• Area: Lambeth
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SE1 8UD
020 7928 6083

robcarter said
We like to watch
Rugby watching; a saturday sin in winter.

We go to many pubs/bars/homes/Dixons on a Saturday in the dark months. A lack of planning and adventurousness leads to a glacially slow exploration of new places to watch.

Returning to an old haunt, The Firestation at Waterloo, revealed that they had turned it into a trendy eatery and ditched the TVs. Sh*t. We needed somewhere else and fast. On the other side of the road, just past the 'Sainsburys-Smaller-But-Irritatingly-More-Expensive", loitered The Wellington.

We had no choice.

We had all been here before whilst using the station as a meeting place. This time we had gone in 'for a reason'. It owed us.

I had horrific memories of this place but it has been redone. You cant change geography however and its still full of crazies, rentboys, drunks, wierdos and foreigners. Mostly arriving or leaving via the station, which is all too close to this establishment. We fitted right in.

Drinks not cheap, some of the beer smelled funny. Lots of TVs and staff willing to up volume and change channel as you wish; useful for watching less mainstream games. Chips were nice.

I'm not sure I'd bother again. A nice to know when you are in a hurry.

PS See attached for cryptic loo sign above the basin in the gents'.
PPS Forgot to take a picture of the quite tasteless fresco of the battle of waterloo, complete with Napoleon and Wellington. What a great thing to have as the first taste of british welcoming pub culture as you step off the Eurostar...
PPPS They are also a hotel at a frankly outrageous 70 per night. God, I dread to think what occurs up those stairs.

• Added: 6th of November 2006
• Area: Mayfair
• Category: Restaurants

London W1K 6US
020 7107 0000

robcarter said
Ramsay's Protege
I was invited to Maze last-minute and I have to admit I didn't even know of its existence until the day before.

Its chef Jason Atherton is Gordon's protege and pretty bloody good.

Three ways of eating. A La Carte (normal 3 courses), Set menu (4 dishes 30, 6 dished 45 all half or third normal size), or tasting menu (each dish 7-12 - recommended to have 4-6 each - pick your own tasting menu).

I wasn't paying (thank God!) as we went for the A La Carte option. The courses we ordered amounted to almost everything! (except the ones involving Foie Gras; I am an conscientious objector).

The rule here seems to be - be bold and you will be rewarded. Things are there for a reason. I am not a fan of beetroot and certainly wouldn't order it if there was lamb on the menu but when you have the freedom to order everything on the menu you can be pleasantly surprised. The "Marinated beetroot, Sairass cheese, pine nut and Cabernet Sauvignon dressing" was so good I have included a picture...

The "White onion velout with duck ragot and cep brioche" was absolutely one of the best things I have ever tasted and suddenly resented everything on the table being 'for everyone to taste'; I wanted it all. This dish alone is worth the trip.

It is worth noting here that you can just go to the bar and try just one or 2 things - tapas-style - but be warned the food is GOOD and you may order more.

So much more to say. The drinks menu is awesome; I had a 20 minute tour of the booze (thanks Tom). The Sommelier, insightful and enthusiastic, the wine lovely. The desserts, inspired. You also strangely don't finish the meal awkwardly full but totally satisfied. Restaurant Director Michael very jovial, polite and witty. All the waiting staff attentive - just a little thing but I saw several people pull out cigarettes and a lighter appeared at the business end of the ciggie before the smoker had even found his/her own light.

Point of interest: the food revolves around salt, not in every dish but it is there. Sometimes even still there in grains. I don't eat much salt so this was noteworthy to me but its just interesting how often it comes up even in the desserts.

The almost bad bits: a bit pricey but this is some of the best food you will eat and we are not at Le Manoir/Petrus/Oxo-flippin-tower prices - I would venture that this was almost 'accessible' especially in this tasting format.

We ate 20-25 dishes between the 3 of us (including desserts) that day and I expect I have forgotted some. Again relief of not paying; immense.

We couldn't stay at our table all afternoon - understandable as they needed to get the evening set up ready. We could move to the bar.

This is one of London's hottest mealtickets. Go.

• Added: 30th of October 2006
• Area: Bloomsbury
• Category: Events and Entertainment

London WC1B 4DA
020 7025 2676

robcarter said
Boutique Bowling
I like this place but it suffers from that common London ail; being too bloody expensive.

Four lanes open to the public, two more in a private room, a bar and a restaurant. Hidden crypt-style under the Bloomsbury Hotel.

8.50 per person per game - yea I told you it was rude. Cheapest drink is beer at 15 per bucket of 5 Coors.

Too small to really have any hope as a pick-up joint but you never know. Also seems to be used A LOT by businesses on a night out. From memory the private room is 300 PER HOUR!

I just like bowling and this place has new shoes, floors you don't stick to, good music, waitress service, no McDonalds or gold-earringed children. I like it - as I said but not a place to go if you ain't bowling. Or late in the month.

Massively high percentage of girls now I come to think of it, also a seemingly excellent place for a classy first date judging by the number of fresh-faced young men awkwardly entertaining nervous looking young women.

HINT: When they give you a piece of paper and ask you to write your name on it, write the name you would like to be displayed to the whole room. My partner effiently entered everyone's full name - this looked totally uncool. Everyone else's had cool nicknames (Jenjen) or at the very most just first names (Barbara). Our board displayed the full names of all our team - cringe.

PS. This may be a plus or a minus but last time I went Jamie Theakston was there...lock up your daughters.

• Added: 19th of October 2006
• Area: Fitzrovia
• Category: Restaurants

London W1T 1SN
020 7323 1488

robcarter said
Private dinner for 30?
I have given this a 4 based partly on the quality of company but a cold reviewer may have given a 3 if they weren't as 'sociable' as I was (after all the Pino) to notice what the food was like.

Family run place, complete with crazy waiter and barman who was also iPod dj. Everyone is Italian. And bonkers. Say hi to Angelo (boss) when you call in.

Classic Italiano; parma ham, mozzarella you know the stuff. Almost too much choice on the menu.

As I mentioned above, this was a manic busy dinner for 30 for a mate's birthday. Formless and noisy (us), the waiter decided that we would all share starters and ordered for us, we then chose mains.

The starters turned out to be the best bit. As soon as the mains were finished (along with a LOT of wine) the tables were pushed back and cramped "shape-throwing" commmenced. All good fun and the staff were very accomodating, remining open (just for us) until 1am!

A nice place for a not (too) expensive en masse dinner.

Decor nothing special, food nothing special, service fun, atmosphere BYO. It was perfect for what we needed but not the place for a dinner for 2 - I am prepared to be corrected by someone who has been for a dinner for 2.

Charlotte Street was really buzzy (this was a tuesday) and could be worth checking out any number of the pubs and bars around there - I think I will.