• Added: 3rd of December 2008
• Area: Soho
• Category: Nightlife

London W1B 5PW
020 7494 4386

chrisp said
Discreet
Muted and glamorous, with just enough of that illicit Soho spice, Bureau is my new favourite drinking spot in this part of town. Discreet to the point of invisible (we knew the address but still walked right past it twice), once inside you are cushioned in a twinkling cocoon of plush bench seating, underlighting and mirrors. The tiny bar is staffed by passionate, dedicated mixologists and turned out some fantastic brand new cocktails just for us. They even make their own marmalade for a few of the recipes - now that's special.

• Added: 3rd of December 2008
• Area: Aldwych
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London WC2B 4RH
020 7300 1000

chrisp said
Brash and stylish
Some of the best drinks and nibbles I've had in London outside Claridges. We were admittedly on a jolly, but if they can keep this standard up in the future then you can call me a regular.

Cocktails were expertly made by barstaff who seemed knowledgable and genuinely passionate about their drinks. The room is huge and quite New York in style, with high ceilings and huge furniture, but the noise levels were never too high and the staff were pleasant and efficient. Best of all though were the nibbles, all made in house and consisting of sugar-coated physalis, warm roasted nuts and a simply amazing dish of huge dark green olives from Italy which tasted like butter.

I will definitely go back, and to hell with the cost.

• Added: 1st of December 2008
• Area: Leicester Square
• Category: Restaurants

London WC2H 7JE
020 7376 1160

chrisp said
AbenOrdinary
Abeno Too is an 'Okonomi-yaki' restaurant. I have no idea of the literal translation of this phrase, but as far as I can make out from my lunch there on Saturday afternoon, it's probably something like "egg and rice patties, cooked on a hot plate in front of you". Which isn't quite as catchy as 'Okonomi-yaki', so I can see why they've gone with the Japanese.

Apparently these kind of gaffs are all the rage over in Japan, and it certainly felt very authentic with the all-Japanese waiting staff and wooden bench seating. As for the food itself, well, maybe I'm missing something. I got the impression it was a twisted Japanese take on American food, in much the same way we consider Chicken Tikka Masala to be Indian. I ordered a Pork (actually bacon) Deluxe and a vegetable noodle omelette thingy, the omelette thingy arriving first and rather disappointingly already cooked from an extra hidden kitchen out the back somewhere. It was dressed with what was billed as "Japanese brown sauce and Japanese mayonnaise", but which tasted for all the world like Heinz and Helman's. It tasted pretty much like you'd expect - noodles and vegetables, wrapped in egg.

The Okonomi-yaki patty itself was, thankfully, cooked with a bit more theatre. The ingredients arrived raw in a metal bowl, with a whole egg yolk perched proudly on top. Our waiter then unceremoniously mashed up everything together vigorously and poured the mixture onto the hot plate. Once ready, we split up the patty with our little paint scraper tools into bitesize portions and wolfed it down. It tasted, again, rather like you'd expect fried egg and rice with bacon to taste - "familiar" I think is the word. In fact, it's probably true to say that were it not for the extra excitement of seeing your food prepared in front of you, the cuisine at Abeno would be considered too dull to be worthy of a prime location in the centre of our nations capital. I can perhaps see how this kind of thing would work in Japan, where the fusion of European and Japanese ingredients may seem exotic and different, but when I saw the contents of the metal bowl being mashed up and dropped onto the heat all I could think was "I could have done this myself, at home, and it would have cost about 50p".

But then again, maybe I'm missing something.

• Added: 14th of November 2008
• Area: Wandsworth
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW18 1DX
020 8874 3414

chrisp said
Olde Worlde
Another charming little spot to satisfy my craving for unreconstructed, old-world London boozers. The Grapes is tiny inside but has a very cozy and familiar feel, even if the atmosphere can be a bit intimidating at first, like you've accidentally wandered into someone's front room. There's a piano in the corner, and they serve reasonably well-kept pints of the local Youngs ale. Comfortable, straightforward and homely. Great stuff.

• Added: 11th of November 2008
• Area: Spitalfields
• Category: Restaurants

London E1 6EW

chrisp said
Unamused-bouche
The Bouchon Bordelais has been a fixture on Battersea Rise for as long as I've been living in the area, and I walk past its front doors almost every weekend on the way to the shops and stalls on Northcote Road. I went once, a few years ago, for lunch. It wasn't bad - they served nice skinny chips and I quite enjoyed my steak (this being before the time I really knew what good steak was) - but a friend's mullet was nasty (the fish, not his hairdo) and for the price I paid I decided it wasn't worth the outlay so I've never been back.

But a week or so ago I noticed a new menu posted outside the Bordelais. Kind of a cross between a French bistro and Corbin and King (the brains behind the Wolseley, the Ivy and others), it now has a larger selection of more varied dishes, from a simple bowl of soup to a 500g steak frites, much of it quite affordable and all of it, I have to say, very tempting. Turns out the Bouchon brand had been revamped by none other than M. Roux of Le Gavroche fame, and even has a sister restaurant newly opened in Spitalfields Market in the East End. And it was this new branch, named Le Bouchon Breton, that I visited for lunch Friday last week.

If first impressions were all that counted, Le Bouchon Breton wouldn't be at all bad. The room is airy and pleasant, having done the best they can with what is essentially a goldfish bowl on the first floor of a brand new office development. It's perhaps best described as a Parisien bistro reimagined by Norman Foster, but I liked the fresh seafood counter out the front and the atmosphere was buzzy without being oppressively loud. It's populated by an impressive number of smart "French" (more of that later) waiters with a ready smile and competent manner, and after being seated and presented with those exciting menus, I was on a high. I should have left there and then.

The first sign of trouble was that after our initial meet and greet it took us a good fifteen minutes to flag down a waiter to order, and when we asked for a bottle of house white he insisted we waited for the sommelier. We only wanted house white, and the intervention of the sommelier would hardly have convinced us otherwise, but procedures are procedures and pointless pretentious flummery is pointless pretentious flummery I suppose. After another five or ten minutes and the sommelier had steadfastly refused to appear, we managed to grab another waiter who took our order for wine without complaint.

There was yet more time for the hapless service to flounder during the food order. "Madame, s'il vous plait?" one began to a member of our party who happened to be French. Instantly she rattled off her order in her mother tongue, only to be interrupted mid-flow by the blushing waiter who quietly explained that he was, in fact, Russian and couldn't speak French. A sweet, and rather humorous incident you might think, but it just reinforced the impression that in the effort for that elusive notion of authenticity the management may have inadvertently just created a French theme restaurant. "Go up to people and introduce yourself in French", you can imagine the management saying. "They'll be too stupid to understand or reply, but they'll forgive all kinds of horrors with the food if they think this is how the French do it". Kind of a Gallic TGI Fridays, but with more expensive wine.

The food, when it eventually arrived, was only OK. My French Onion Soup had a great big crouton dissolving soggily inside it and had clearly been standing under a heat lamp for a while. It also had no toasted cheesy crust on the top, although the actual broth was satisfyingly beefy. It was no better than the £2.50 example you can get from the Eat sandwich chains on Mondays though. And my main course of lamb cutlets in rosemary jus would have been a whole lot nicer had they used decent meat - Hawksmoor, just around the corner on Commercial Street, serves the tastiest cuts of lamb in London for exactly the same price. Here they were fatty and tasteless and drowned by the strong sauce. Opinions around the table from my fellow diners were similarly mixed; a steak baguette was dry and uninteresting, the lobster bisque was overly creamy and didn't contain enough lobster. The overall impression was of a restaurant trying to increase its margins by cooking smaller amounts of inferior ingredients, and you have to have real skill in the kitchen to pull this off successfully. Le Bouchon Breton may have culinary genius M. Roux on its management team, but it's only with him in the kitchen that it would stand a chance turning out food worth paying for.

Perhaps it's silly to criticize a French restaurant in London for not being authentic, but the tragedy is that I can see what they are trying to do. Affordable bistro style food covering all bases, recognisably French and served in an informal setting - it sounds like most people's idea of a perfect dining spot. The fact that Le Bouchon Breton falls so short just shows how difficult it is to get that balance right. This may not be the last I see of the Bouchons - the £12.50 lunch menu is still generously priced and of course there's the revamped Battersea Branch that might yet win me back - but the experience on Friday lunchtime was summed up quite neatly by a fellow diner as she peered miserably into her insipid lobster bisque - "We should have just gone to the Fox again".

• Added: 3rd of November 2008
• Area: Soho
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London W1F 7NU
020 7565 1620

chrisp said
The land of Milk and Honey
A gorgeous, exclusive and romantic spot that stands head and shoulders above every other drinking spot in this part of town. I'd be the first to admit it's probably not for everyone - it can be expensive, it's very dark (seriously, I had to use a torch to read the drinks menu) and depending on your point of view it sails dangerously close to pretension. But you'd have to have a heart of stone not to be impressed by the cocktails and the levels of service, and how incredible to find a place open until 1am in the center of London that is quiet enough for a normal conversation and doesn't charge £20 to get in.

Oh, there is that small matter of the membership of course. But if it's not too busy they won't chuck you out at 11pm, and booking ahead is a tiny price to pay for a reward so sweet.

• Added: 3rd of November 2008
• Area: Covent Garden
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London WC2H 9JA
020 7836 5005

chrisp said
Languishing
Despite setting itself up as a "unique" bar-restaurant in the heart of Covent Garden, the Langley is actually as identikit as they come. Drinks are middle of the road, staff are indifferent and as for the food...

The restaurant section seems like an afterthought, with a deeply uninspiring menu and hapless staff who had to ask each member of our 8-strong party up to three times what our orders were. The food was late, boring, and expensive. Avoid.

• Added: 20th of October 2008
• Area: Wandsworth
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW11 6RE
020 7228 4040

chrisp said
BolingBroken
I should really try to stop getting myself all excited when I hear about a new restaurant opening in Battersea. I don't know what it is about this part of town, but for some reason regardless of concept, skill of the chef or the charm of the front of house, as soon as the doors open to a new eatery in SW11 it's like all the life and joy is sucked out and you're left with a hollow shell of a place serving bland, expensive food to undiscerning punters.

Dos Hermanos, that bastion of independent criticism and flawless taste, had already dismissed Broome and Delancey on Battersea Rise, saving me the trouble of blowing £20 on a burger and chips and hammering probably the first nail in the coffin of the latest reincarnation of this site, which seems to have changed hands about 10 times in as many years. But what was this - The Bolingbroke, another new opening on Northcote Road, doesn't get a panning. It's hardly a glowing review, but it sounds solid and interesting enough for a visit and damn it, it's not like we're exactly spoiled for choice around here and if it turns out to be anything less than terrible I'd consider that a win. So, off I went.

First impressions were good - very good, if I'm going to be honest. They have that Prince of Wales Putney vibe, with a slightly rowdy and informal front room and a more traditional restaurant dining room towards the back, with whitewashed brick walls and a chalkboard daily special. And the menu read very well indeed, "Wild bay Devon crab, avocado, baby gem lettuce and deep fried duck egg" sounds almost worth the fee alone, and along with Ox tongue, slow-roasted belly of pork and roasted mallard it ticked all the right boxes in local, seasonal ingredients. If only the success of a restaurant was based on their skill in putting together a menu, the Bolingbroke would be famous the city over.

Starters were where things started going downhill. Ham hock terrine was fridge-fresh and although would have been tasty enough at room temperature just pointed towards sloppy practices in the kitchen. The "signature" duck egg starter was overcooked so that instead of a lovely runny yolk the insides were solid and cloying. My pigeon was cooked nice and rare and the accompanying mushrooms were lovely, but the foie was cold and solid, like a small lump of butter, a waste of such premium ingredients really.

As far as mains go, the only positive thing I can say is that the daily special guinea fowl confit was pretty good and was eaten without complaint. But the two fish dishes ordered that evening (Dover sole and a Halibut steak) ranked with some of the worst I've ever paid for. My Halibut with saffron sauce was overcooked, completely underseasoned and dressed with some entirely tasteless mussels. There was no sign of any saffron in the creamy sauce and the creamed leeks were as bland as only unseasoned, cheap boiled vegetables can be. But worst of all was the Dover Sole. When done well, this is the king of all fish dishes - my Sole at Scott's last year was just superb, with rich meaty flesh easing off the bone in large, satisfying chunks. Here it was overcooked way past the point of obliteration, the skin burned and the flesh a disgusting homogenous paste. Awful.

We did mention our numerous complaints to the waitress when asked, but apart from a smile and a short apology, nothing else was offered in terms of recompense. We had also asked them - twice - to turn down the music blaring out of the speakers just above our heads, but nothing was done about this either, so we had to endure our main courses (themselves being enough punishment you would think) between yelled conversation or in the quiet few seconds between tracks.

The Bolingbroke is not a good restaurant. Perhaps if I'd ordered differently I would have come away with the impression that it was merely mediocre rather than actively bad, but at these prices, and with competition from pubs such as the Prince of Wales and the Establishment only 10 minutes away, there is no excuse for such poor cooking. For all the fanfare and expense lavished on this building, it seems the curse of Battersea dining doesn't look like being broken any time soon.

• Added: 13th of October 2008
• Area: Shacklewell
• Category: Restaurants

London N16 7JD
020 7249 9111

chrisp said
Outstanding Ocakbasi
In the ten or so days since my last review, Iceland has declared itself bankrupt. I was understandably quite pleased when I heard this news - how nice to be spared those gratingly irritating Kerry Katona ads designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator lazy parents who couldn't be bothered doing anything more worthwhile for their offspring than heat up a batch of chicken nuggets and oven chips. Sadly, it wasn't to be - the Iceland going bankrupt was in fact the country, not exactly known for its culinary output and therefore of little interest to me, and the curse of what Andrew at Eyedropper.co.uk calls "brown food" - sealed plastic packages of greasy processed food - is here to stay. In fact given recent global events the chances are we might be seeing a lot more of Miss Katona and her ilk. For as many Gordon Ramsays and Jamie Olivers there are telling us that it really is easy - and most importantly cheap - to cook fresh, tasty food in your own homes there are as many others who will try to make a living out of convincing the population that all you really need for a balanced diet is a packet of spiced potato wedges and a microwave. And when times are tough and money is tight, I have a feeling that it's easier to make a 99p pack of spring rolls look like the budget option next to the effort of chopping an onion and crushing a garlic. I hope I'm proved wrong, but Mssrs Oliver and Ramsay really do have their work cut out.

It is, I've mentioned before, the restaurants which make you feel like you're getting value for money that will thrive in the current climate, even if it is just a "feeling" rather than a genuine generosity of spirit. The Giaconda wasn't anything more than a competent gastropub serving food at standard prices, but little tricks with the bill and the table charge made you feel much better about parting with your cash. The "trick" employed by the oddly-named 19 Numara Bos Cirrik 2 is far more straightforward - gut-busting portions for not very much money. The menu was also of a generous size - about 8 pages - although closer inspection revealed quite a bit of duplication and nothing really that unique in terms of ingredients or dishes. But Ocakbasi is what it is - tasty, filling comfort food served without pretension, and to this end 19NBC2 fills its remit very well.

19 Numara Bos Cirrik 2 was filling up rapidly when we arrived at about 8:00pm on Saturday night. The crowd was I think a mixture of families, young couples and old Turkish men reading the paper, although it was a bit difficult to tell as the room seemed to be lit only by small tea lights on each table and the focal point of the room - a huge grill near the door - kept the air thick with charcoal smoke and steam.

We started with a huge selection of mixed mezze, most of which was slightly on the dull side but included a nice bean salad, homemade hummus and some cheesy samosa thingies. Hardly mind-blowing but at about £3.50 each we weren't complaining, and there was a lot of it.

My mixed grill was a decent enough example of its type - the highlight being small sections of lamb ribs, an unusual cut for a Western restaurant but juicy and attractively bite-sized. The best you could say about the other bits and pieces was that they were cooked properly and weren't too dry, although I think in most cases I could have done with extra seasoning and/or spicing. The problem with Turkish food, similar to Spanish food, is that it relies upon zingingly fresh ingredients cooked quickly and simply, and if your ingredients aren't quite up to the task, as so often happens in this country, the end product suffers. But it was just what the doctor ordered for a relaxing Saturday evening and I should also mention that the house bread was some of the best of its type I've had in this country, fluffy and rich and - of course - barely minutes out of the oven.

Another nod to authenticity (and our wallets) was the £12 bottle of Turkish wine we had with the meal. There were a few funny faces pulled around the table on first tasting, but I didn't think it was too bad. Given a choice between cutting back on the food or the wine, I would always choose the wine - most restaurants worth their salt wouldn't ever serve anything completely undrinkable, although having said that I know I'm just setting myself up to be proved wrong.

What my visit to 19 Numara Bos Cirrik 2 proved, again, is that the tiniest bit of research can prove the difference between throwing away your precious pennies on somewhere cheap and rubbish and getting real value from a small local restaurant. And what the food we were served that evening proved is that it is possible to create a substantial, tasty meal from budget ingredients in little to no time at all, and without a plastic packet of brown food in sight. Kerry Katona take note.

• Added: 10th of October 2008
• Area: Battersea
• Category: Food and Drink

London SW11 1NX
020 7978 4428

chrisp said
Nothing fishy here
Sadly, due to punative rises in rent imposed by Northcote Road landlords, Northcote Fisheries are now operating from a van parked down a side road off Northcote Road itself. Fortunately they still offer the same good selection of fish and crustaceans and although it seemed initially like they were in danger of being overshadowed by the Fishworks newly opened a few doors down, the poor fishmongery and heavy markups of the corporate joint soon saw their regular flock returning.

Sure, it's not the greatest fishmongers in the world, but it's privately owned, friendly, reasonably priced and characterful. So before Wandsworth council finally admit that their plans for the redevelopment of SW11 involve the flattening of the whole of Northcote Road to make way for a single giant branch of Fat Face, it will continue to get my custom.