• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Merton Park
• Category: Take Aways

London SW17 9PE
020 8672 0550

Nixon said
Golden Grill
This is a café cum burger bar in the vein of the 1970s Wimpy brand, but it is family run and has none of the garish decor that comes with the aforementioned franchise. The Golden Grill has been in Tooting for two decades and its success is down to its fantastic food. It’s not gourmet stuff, its a cafe and serves the tastiest teas, breakfasts and burgers around. With no exaggeration, The Golden Grill’s cheeseburgers are the best burgers in all of London. It’s also a very clean place, and always has been, which is why they still formica tables –these aren’t a kitsch addition, they’ve been there since the first time around. The Golden Grill is one of Tooting’s best kept secrets. Go there and see for yourself.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Tooting Bec
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 7RE
020 8767 3902

Nixon said
Smoke
Smoke arrived several years ago. This little boutique bar was the first of its kind in Tooting and signalled the beginning of Tooting’s gentrification. However, Tooting hasn’t really moved on and the promise that Smoke made wasn’t fulfilled. This place looks nice and homely but getting a table is really hard, and the furniture is crammed in away. There are seats outside, which would also be nice were they not also so hard to get. The main problem is that it is just too small. Who wants to head down to a bar knowing there is a good chance they won’t get a seat and will in all likelihood have an uncomfortable evening? I don’t. Many people don’t. And so this place isn’t that highly regarded in the area.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Tooting
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 7TJ
020 8672 1683

Nixon said
The Mayfair Tavern
This is a cheeky little place tucked into the side of a big huge building. There’s a lot of Irish in there and they are all friendly and well up for some hardcore booze ups. The staff are super friendly and the drink is mega tasty. They also have the greatest quiz machine in the world, you can’t lose! The pool table is also great, and never gets hogged like in many other pubs. There are plenty of TVs around for sport and they show all the top games. Expect a good old fashioned drunken brew ha ha if you go to his place. Great craic!

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Balham
• Category: Restaurants

London SW12 9EX
020 8675 6900

Nixon said
Harrison's
Harrisson’s Brassiere is a real gem: a local place with a simple menu, serving supremely delicious food at really good value prices. This is a co-venture of fish specialist and TV chef Rick Stein. His professional standards are all over this place. The decor is contemporary yet comfortable. When I went I had a burger and fries. This simple meal was cooked beautifully and presented very appetizingly . My friend’s dishes were equally scrumptious. I couldn’t believe the bill when it came –I felt like we’d been drastically undercharged. I can’t recommend this place enough. Go there now and see for yourself what a brilliant restaurant it is.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: South Wimbledon
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW19 1QG
020 8540 8339

Nixon said
Bar Sia
Once upon a time Bar Sia was a Turkish Baths. Downstairs they’ve even converted the baths into a romantic little multi levelled seating affair. Despite all the tiles and lack of windows it is actually very comfortable. Upstairs on ground level the bar is a lot more of what you would expect. A clean, modern place filled with comfy leather seats and well veneered tables. The drinks are over-priced but that’s what comes a place with such lofty thoughts of itself. The patrons tend to the be young, wannabe trendies –not actually trendies because such reckless slaves to fashion couldn’t afford to drink in here. It’s an alright place, this. Worth having a half in.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: South Wimbledon
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW19 1SD
020 8540 0080

Nixon said
Watershed
This place is a mainstay of late night Wimbledon. Up the road there is Po Na Na, which is equally naff but thinks oh so much more of itself. The Watershed is local club with no pretentions. It’s dark and a little dingy but great place to go after you’ve been drinking and want to up the tempo. The music is poppy, hip hoppy, dancy stuff –nothing special. Something The Watershed plays host to a really good comedy club called Laughing Horse. You can see comedy and stay on for the club which is really very good value indeed. The Watershed is the type of local place you can’t help but feel very affectionate about.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Merton Park
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 0RN
020 86727887

Nixon said
Who Cheese
This place is like its neighbour Spirit. It’s an independent bar in a converted shop front. It serves continental beers like Hoegaarden and half heartedly serves food like pizzas. Its style is a more chocolately jazz as opposed to its Spirit’s equally garish false bohemian, hippy nonsense. The only thing going for its appearance is it is a clearly an independent venture, which is an attractive concept in the brand blandness of Tooting. There’s a little more room in here than in Spirit but not much. Knowing that getting a seat will be unlikely there’s little point in coming here. Cramped and fussy, you’re better off leaving it.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Merton Park
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 9NA
020 8767 2908

Nixon said
A Bar 2 Poo
In the day this place serves some ok food and coffee and is a spacious, gentle place to be. Many women shoppers inhabit the place, for goodness sake. But at night the demons come here to party. Goblins and trolls turn up, get boozed up and dance till they get rejected by all the slutty girls then try to thump the other twerps nearby. The bouncers are regularly in and out to sort things out and the flashing blue police cars and often give the disco a run for its money has the bobbies speed to A Bar 2 Far to sort out the latest ruck. If you like retarded sexuality, frustration that spills into violence and overpriced drinks then head down there now. But don’t forget your stab proof vest.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Merton Park
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 9NT
020 8672 2777

Nixon said
Railway Bell
Oof. This place is rough. If, for some ungodly reason, you decide to squeeze past the fat, boorish twerps who are eternally smoking in this pub’s doorways, then you’re in for a hellish experience. The Railway Bell is large inside but uniformly grotty and neglected. Outside blackboards boast cheap drink deals but the horrid booze inside is still overpriced. The staff are idle and uncaring of outsiders. If you’re lucky then the regulars will treat you with apathy. If you’re unlucky expect to be snarled at by stupid wasterals, resentful of any sign of success, intellect, or cleanliness. Don’t go here. Head down the road to The Ramble Inn.

• Added: 28th of August 2008
• Area: Merton Park
• Category: Bars and Pubs

London SW17 9NG
020 8767 8425

Nixon said
Jack's
Jack Beard’s looks formidable from the outside. There’s always a gang of rough looking birds and blokes dragging on some soggy fag and bumping tattoos as they bellow proud justifications about some fight or fall out they’ve had with some other goon. But Jack Beards is actually a really good pub. Very friendly and open. You’ll get left alone if that’s what you want, but not when the band’s play. These Irish crooners give it full speed on their preset organs and drum machines, regularly belting out traditional rousing folk songs. And as every patron demonstrates weekly, you don’t even need to know the words!