http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan <b>The Swan</b><br />London, 215 Clapham Road, SW9 9BE, United Kingdom en http://trustedplaces.com/uploads/placepics/trustedplaces.comaPlacePic['name']}.140.jpg http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1z5kg7
Review by VickieMac

Rating: 1.00
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I met a boy at this bar. Yep, you heard right. I met a real live boy! (I'll pause while you lean in closer to the screen.)

Actually, I met an enormous (6 ft 4, 300lb) beast of a man that was hungry for a piece of me! (⬦and in more ways than one!) But donâ¬"t get too excited because although he seemed nice enough, sadly he wonâ¬"t be visiting my fair domicile anytime soon.

It all started when he snatched a camera out of my hand, kissed me and pushed me into the picture. This was a bit of a shock but I've come to learn that this is not entirely unusual behaviour for Swan boys. Then, he tried to buy me a drink (they didn't have what I wanted), then he tried to talk to me (he ripped my hair out trying to get to my ear because the music was so loud), and then he danced with me (this new fangled dance requiring little-to-no movement)to the cheesiest selection of sultry sounds I've heard in decades. But I figured thatâ¬"s okay, when I could hear what he was saying he wasnâ¬"t too bad. That was until he tried to eat me!

Seriously, right there in the middle of the not so packed dancefloor he tried to eat my face! I thought I was going to need a complete run of cosmetic surgery to repair the mangled state of my mouth. This guy made a full on midnight snack out of me! He literally chewed my lips and I'm pretty sure he took a chunk out of my shoulder. So, what happened next? I ran. Fast.

Perhaps it was my chocolate scented perfume that made a taste of yourâ¬"s truly seem so difficult to resist (or perhaps not). But whatever it was, as you can plainly see I'm hardly quick snack for anybody!

As I mentioned, I've come to realise this is a common occurance at the Swan as it's quite possibly one of London's largest meat markets. But if you enjoy falling prey to a very eclectic selection of patrons and grooving to the sweet sounds of the eighies and nineties then this is the place for you. Oh, and make sure you check out their Cheeky Vimtos. They're a treat!
]]> Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:27:01 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1z5kg71939420736 VickieMac 51.472216 -0.122487 http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1r1f99
Review by marta83

Rating: 1.00
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we got there at 10:30 pm, place was still empty, we've been told that we can get free meal:chicken and chips or sausage with chips. My sausage was cold so i asked to get it warmed in return i heard "that's the way we serve in here and u didn't pay for this food... this is not as restaurant" blond Polish girl said .
that was rude enought
MD got a 5* from me comparing to Swan
seriously no comments...
staff was very rude and unhelpful. it was my best friend birthday and we thought that we can have fun in there as every time we were in that place.
girl called Kasia-duty manager should be trained in customer service.
that was the worst experience in my life in London pubs enviroment.
will never go there again and will try to get refound for the money i've payd for entrance that night.]]> Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:25:21 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1r1f99884670844 marta83 51.472216 -0.122487 http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1m6567
Review by QueenB

Rating: 3.00
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The Swan is a random place really, it's a mix between an old Irish pub and a student union, at the wrong end of Clapham, up by Stockwell tube station. There are often fights, smashed glass across the sticky, filthy floor, loud cover bands booming away 'on stage' BUT I have had some hillarious nights in there and met some lovely people during those nights and would go back for a funny, totally unpretentious night with pals.]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:47:00 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1m6567322860373 QueenB 51.472216 -0.122487 http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1m8347
Review by elliemoff

Rating: 5.00
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I LOVE THE SWAN!! It is a must for someone who wants to re-live their student days as the atmosphere feels just like a students union - the cover bands are brilliant and entrance is free before 10 or £6 afterwards so fairly reasonable.

This place beats overpriced Infernos hands down! SO much better dancing to live music....]]> Wed, 18 Jul 2007 15:44:34 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1m83471879973818 elliemoff 51.472216 -0.122487 http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1e7148
Review by fletch

Rating: 5.00
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Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree. This place is the best venue in South London. FACT. One bit of advice, don't wear sandals as there's usually broken glass on the floor.]]> Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:04:52 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1e7148883326250 fletch 51.472216 -0.122487 http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1e9128
Review by Pete

Rating: 5.00
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This place is so funny - its like the booziest of student nights all over again.

bordering on filth, you can expect some amazing live music from the likes of really hot chilli peppers, take this and soasis! i love it.

snake bites are a must cos this is an anitpedeon dream.

it rocks hard - and you get complimentary chicken in a basket if you can remember to collect it.
]]> Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:01:56 +0000 /review/uk/london/bar-pub/1o32a79/the-swan/1e9128872750586 Pete 51.472216 -0.122487