Latest reviews in Balham, London, United Kingdom

The Fat Delicatessen - by RoniD

RoniD — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:10:34 +0000

Review by RoniD

Rating: 5.00Best beacon butty in balham...Best beacon butty in balham...

Balham's Bar - by RoniD

RoniD — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:09:11 +0000

Review by RoniD

Rating: 3.00

Phone: 020 86733232

never been, but has the best cow model in balham....never been, but has the best cow model in balham....

Tian Tsin - by RoniD

RoniD — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:03:12 +0000

Review by RoniD

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 020 8673 8809

Local!!! Don't even ask my address any more... 1000's of top dinners out of these top people... Not enough love for them... ;-)Local!!! Don't even ask my address any more... 1000's of top dinners out of these top people... Not enough love for them... ;-)

Threshers - by RoniD

RoniD — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:59:07 +0000

Review by RoniD

Rating: 4.00

Phone: 020 8675 9760

Website: http://www.thresher.co.uk

Tags: delivery, groceries, cigarettes & tobacco

My local!!!! Nice people with dam nice prices!!!!

;-)My local!!!! Nice people with dam nice prices!!!!

;-)

Hop & Spice - Happy Days by Scoobs

Scoobs — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:22:13 +0000

Review by Scoobs

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 020 8675 3121

Website: http://www.hopandspice.com/

Tags: good value, lively, romantic

I've just had my birthday at Hop & Spice, and I felt I had to comment on what an awesome place this is.

We were so well looked after. We had their set menu (Â£19 each) - which for 20 of us was perfect. They went to the trouble of printing my name on all the menus , and we were greeted with a glass of chilled champage each. You can see where this is going ...

The food started to arrive - mixed starters included their crispy lamb & potato cakes. If you have one thing at Hop & Spice - have these! A taste sensation. 6 amazing curries followed plus their house special - kottu rotti (shredded bread, egg, veg, chilli and lots of other lovely stuff - all in one bowl). Dessert included a delicious sticky chocolate brownie with thick cream & cinnamon.

To wash down this culinary delight. Well, it's not your B'day every day so we worked our way through the beer list. Very drinkable Sri Lankan brew (Lion) to start - the rest is a blur but included Innis & Gun (brewed in whiskey barrels), Old Speckled Hen, and Leffe Blonde. Where else in London can you do that over a delicious curry??

The Hop & Spice staff were fantastic, super efficient and polite - and they even sang me Happy Birthday when my cake came out. Thank you Hop & Spice - we'll be back!I've just had my birthday at Hop & Spice, and I felt I had to comment on what an awesome place this is.

We were so well looked after. We had their set menu (Â£19 each) - which for 20 of us was perfect. They went to the trouble of printing my name on all the menus , and we were greeted with a glass of chilled champage each. You can see where this is going ...

The food started to arrive - mixed starters included their crispy lamb & potato cakes. If you have one thing at Hop & Spice - have these! A taste sensation. 6 amazing curries followed plus their house special - kottu rotti (shredded bread, egg, veg, chilli and lots of other lovely stuff - all in one bowl). Dessert included a delicious sticky chocolate brownie with thick cream & cinnamon.

To wash down this culinary delight. Well, it's not your B'day every day so we worked our way through the beer list. Very drinkable Sri Lankan brew (Lion) to start - the rest is a blur but included Innis & Gun (brewed in whiskey barrels), Old Speckled Hen, and Leffe Blonde. Where else in London can you do that over a delicious curry??

The Hop & Spice staff were fantastic, super efficient and polite - and they even sang me Happy Birthday when my cake came out. Thank you Hop & Spice - we'll be back!

Double Espresso - by Constantine

Constantine — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:52:15 +0000

Review by Constantine

Rating: 4.00This is a great local Italian, with probably the best pizzas in Wandsworth - light, crispy, with their own dough rolled and flattened in front of you. Super pasta, generous portions (I particularly recommend tagliatelle Double Espresso). Friendly, buzzy, happy place. No credit cards or cheques, but you won't need a huge amount of cash!This is a great local Italian, with probably the best pizzas in Wandsworth - light, crispy, with their own dough rolled and flattened in front of you. Super pasta, generous portions (I particularly recommend tagliatelle Double Espresso). Friendly, buzzy, happy place. No credit cards or cheques, but you won't need a huge amount of cash!

Gazette Brasserie - Terrible rude service - it will ruin your night by ilovelucy

ilovelucy — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:41:43 +0000

Review by ilovelucy

Rating: 2.00

Phone: 020 8772 1232

Tags: french, lively, brasserie

The two times I have been to Gazette the service has been atrocious and we've been left waiting for food for ages. The first time I was in a party of about 10 downstairs and it took about an hour for food to actually start appearing. We arrived at 8.30pm and were the last to leave (and not by choice). I put this down to the size of the party - perhaps there were a bit stretched in the kitchen that night? The food was actually very good (although a major niggle for me is that they serve the food in small casserole pans so its really difficult to cut with your knife. Whose stupid idea was that?) So one night I gave them the benefit of the doubt and went again.....i wish I hadn't. We were waiting for our desserts for about 40 minutes. It was a dessert made out of chantilly cream, sorbet and pineapple.....what could be so difficult about putting them together? I complained a couple of times to the French waitress to no avail - as she hardly spoke a work of English she ignored us and didn't apologise for the delay. Once we got our desserts it proved to be inedible - absolutely disgusting and neither my cousin and i could finish them. With the complaining and the let-down of the pudding we were pretty deflated. You have been warned!The two times I have been to Gazette the service has been atrocious and we've been left waiting for food for ages. The first time I was in a party of about 10 downstairs and it took about an hour for food to actually start appearing. We arrived at 8.30pm and were the last to leave (and not by choice). I put this down to the size of the party - perhaps there were a bit stretched in the kitchen that night? The food was actually very good (although a major niggle for me is that they serve the food in small casserole pans so its really difficult to cut with your knife. Whose stupid idea was that?) So one night I gave them the benefit of the doubt and went again.....i wish I hadn't. We were waiting for our desserts for about 40 minutes. It was a dessert made out of chantilly cream, sorbet and pineapple.....what could be so difficult about putting them together? I complained a couple of times to the French waitress to no avail - as she hardly spoke a work of English she ignored us and didn't apologise for the delay. Once we got our desserts it proved to be inedible - absolutely disgusting and neither my cousin and i could finish them. With the complaining and the let-down of the pudding we were pretty deflated. You have been warned!

Dish Dash - Great place for food and drinks by GillWhite

GillWhite — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:31:17 +0000

Review by GillWhite

Rating: 4.00

Phone: 020 7352 1130

Website: http://www.dish-dash.com

Tags: lively, good value, middle eastern

I've visited Dish Dash on a few occasions - but most recently went there with some friends who had come to visit us. We had a really great time - and was really something different for our friends who don't live in London.

We started off with some gorgeous cocktails and then got stuck into the food. It was lovely as usual - we chose lots of smaller dishes - which I think is a great way of eating. We also had a great (couple of) bottles of a great rose while eating - although I'm afraid I don't remember its name.

I would always recommend a trip to Dish Dash when you're in the area - as well as the food and drink - the service is always excellent and the atmosphere always fun.

I've visited Dish Dash on a few occasions - but most recently went there with some friends who had come to visit us. We had a really great time - and was really something different for our friends who don't live in London.

We started off with some gorgeous cocktails and then got stuck into the food. It was lovely as usual - we chose lots of smaller dishes - which I think is a great way of eating. We also had a great (couple of) bottles of a great rose while eating - although I'm afraid I don't remember its name.

I would always recommend a trip to Dish Dash when you're in the area - as well as the food and drink - the service is always excellent and the atmosphere always fun.

Sea Breeze Fisheries - Do not buy from here!!!! by claphamgirl

claphamgirl — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:00:42 +0000

Review by claphamgirl

Rating: 1.00

Phone: 020 8673 4924

Bought a "fresh" crab from here today that turned out to be absolutely minging...!!! if we had eaten this we would have had serious gut ache....NOT reccomendedBought a "fresh" crab from here today that turned out to be absolutely minging...!!! if we had eaten this we would have had serious gut ache....NOT reccomended

The Marmaris - by sooty

sooty — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:15:15 +0000

Review by sooty

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 020 8675 6556

Tags: kebabs, seating area

clean good food at reasonable pricesclean good food at reasonable prices

Lamberts Restaurant - Great local restaurant by chrisp

chrisp — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:33:32 +0000

Review by chrisp

Rating: 4.00

Phone: 020 8675 2233

Website: http://www.lambertsrestaurant.com/

Tags: good value, international, british

Clapham Common has its Trinity, East Dulwich its Franklins, New Cross its Chicken Cottage. Local restaurants that cater to local tastes - good value, informal and tasty. And Balham, for many years now, hidden away from the prying eyes and fads and fashionable foodie trends of the rest of the capital, has had Lamberts, a friendly boutique spot 2 minutes walk from the station. One of the blessings of visiting a restaurant you know next to nothing about is an open mind - an open mind that too often in this city is closed within minutes of arrival. But fortunately, and delightfully, Lamberts turned out to be rather good.

There were lots of things to get excited about on the menu last night. Crispy pork cheeks, wild mushrooms, halibut fillet - a step up from the kind of ingredients you normally get chucked at you in this price range (Â£7 starters, Â£14-Â£17 main courses). Already things were looking up, and this was despite the frankly bizarre decision to supply rapeseed oil in which to dip our (admittedly quite nice) house bread. The oil smelt, and tasted, of nothing - like cooking oil. Very unpleasant indeed.

All was forgiven with the arrival of the starters. My venison was divine - mostly carpaccio-rare but with enough searing on the extremities to bring out an astonishing strength of flavour. Beneath the deep red flakes of Bambi was a robust bean and aubergine pesto, notable in being the only aubergine dish I've been excited about in many years. Topped with baby watercress, this was a colourful and balanced plate of food, and a real achievement for Â£7. Similarly, a friend's octopus and black pudding was also a triumph, surf and turf Mediterranean bursting with fresh flavours.

The main courses, then, had a lot to live up to, and only just fell short. My lamb was perfectly cooked and seasoned, served on top of pleasantly crunchy beans and surrounded by nice soft boiled potatoes. It was competent where the starter had been exciting, and traditional where the venison was innovative. Of course, that's not to say I didn't enjoy it - I did - but this was more the kind of food you could get at, say, a decent conference banquet or 4-star hotel restaurant than the fireworks evident in the venison dish. Chips were good though.

For dessert, a huge slab of Montezuma chocolate torte arrived, next to a neat row of raw cherries steeped in alcohol. I'm not the world's biggest chocolate fan (no I don't know why I ordered it either), but even so this plate of food needed something additional - either ice cream or double cream - and the cherries were disappointingly bland. The chocolate itself was nice enough, but not so brilliant as to lift it into a successful dish. I imagine some people who favour chocolate above any other material on earth would think it was great, so I won't be too harsh, but it didn't really do much for me.

With a bottle of Pinot Noir and the suggested glass of Aleatica Italian dessert wine (Â£8, notes of blackberries and blueberries and dark summer fruit), the bill came to around Â£50 each. Perhaps not as cheap as I was expecting at first, but still very good value for cooking of this standard and it's not like we held back on the alcohol. Meals like this, in restaurants like this, give a warm fuzzy feeling inside - it makes me happy that Lamberts exists, and even more happy that on a muggy midweek in August almost every table was taken. There's hope for our fine city yet.Clapham Common has its Trinity, East Dulwich its Franklins, New Cross its Chicken Cottage. Local restaurants that cater to local tastes - good value, informal and tasty. And Balham, for many years now, hidden away from the prying eyes and fads and fashionable foodie trends of the rest of the capital, has had Lamberts, a friendly boutique spot 2 minutes walk from the station. One of the blessings of visiting a restaurant you know next to nothing about is an open mind - an open mind that too often in this city is closed within minutes of arrival. But fortunately, and delightfully, Lamberts turned out to be rather good.

There were lots of things to get excited about on the menu last night. Crispy pork cheeks, wild mushrooms, halibut fillet - a step up from the kind of ingredients you normally get chucked at you in this price range (Â£7 starters, Â£14-Â£17 main courses). Already things were looking up, and this was despite the frankly bizarre decision to supply rapeseed oil in which to dip our (admittedly quite nice) house bread. The oil smelt, and tasted, of nothing - like cooking oil. Very unpleasant indeed.

All was forgiven with the arrival of the starters. My venison was divine - mostly carpaccio-rare but with enough searing on the extremities to bring out an astonishing strength of flavour. Beneath the deep red flakes of Bambi was a robust bean and aubergine pesto, notable in being the only aubergine dish I've been excited about in many years. Topped with baby watercress, this was a colourful and balanced plate of food, and a real achievement for Â£7. Similarly, a friend's octopus and black pudding was also a triumph, surf and turf Mediterranean bursting with fresh flavours.

The main courses, then, had a lot to live up to, and only just fell short. My lamb was perfectly cooked and seasoned, served on top of pleasantly crunchy beans and surrounded by nice soft boiled potatoes. It was competent where the starter had been exciting, and traditional where the venison was innovative. Of course, that's not to say I didn't enjoy it - I did - but this was more the kind of food you could get at, say, a decent conference banquet or 4-star hotel restaurant than the fireworks evident in the venison dish. Chips were good though.

For dessert, a huge slab of Montezuma chocolate torte arrived, next to a neat row of raw cherries steeped in alcohol. I'm not the world's biggest chocolate fan (no I don't know why I ordered it either), but even so this plate of food needed something additional - either ice cream or double cream - and the cherries were disappointingly bland. The chocolate itself was nice enough, but not so brilliant as to lift it into a successful dish. I imagine some people who favour chocolate above any other material on earth would think it was great, so I won't be too harsh, but it didn't really do much for me.

With a bottle of Pinot Noir and the suggested glass of Aleatica Italian dessert wine (Â£8, notes of blackberries and blueberries and dark summer fruit), the bill came to around Â£50 each. Perhaps not as cheap as I was expecting at first, but still very good value for cooking of this standard and it's not like we held back on the alcohol. Meals like this, in restaurants like this, give a warm fuzzy feeling inside - it makes me happy that Lamberts exists, and even more happy that on a muggy midweek in August almost every table was taken. There's hope for our fine city yet.

The Avalon - Not Good by niklog77

niklog77 — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 10:25:45 +0000

Review by niklog77

Rating: 1.00

Phone: 020 8675 8613

Website: http://www.theavalonlondon.co.uk/

Tags: gastro pub, bar, food

Have eaten twice at The Avalon now the 1st time was barely accectable, but thought we try again. On both occaisions waitstaff were hopeless,setting wrong cutlery for places at our table, taking wrong food to customers at our table, generally slow and un enthusiastic.

This brings me to the most worrying part of my dining experience. The 2nd occaision at The Avalon was for a birthday with a surprise cake. Upon arriving the person taking care of the surprise cake was approadched by a waitress and asked if the candles should read 32 or 23...... Infront of the person whos birthday it was. Surprise!! Then came back later and spoke to the same person taking care of the surprise and asked so who is the surprise for??... Infront of the person whos birthday it was. Cats out of the bag now.

We proceeded to eat our meals have the " surprise " cake and couple of drinks from the bar. Upon leaving the birthday guest got violently ill from what he knows was something he had consumed during the evening. It was very worrying.

Have eaten twice at The Avalon now the 1st time was barely accectable, but thought we try again. On both occaisions waitstaff were hopeless,setting wrong cutlery for places at our table, taking wrong food to customers at our table, generally slow and un enthusiastic.

This brings me to the most worrying part of my dining experience. The 2nd occaision at The Avalon was for a birthday with a surprise cake. Upon arriving the person taking care of the surprise cake was approadched by a waitress and asked if the candles should read 32 or 23...... Infront of the person whos birthday it was. Surprise!! Then came back later and spoke to the same person taking care of the surprise and asked so who is the surprise for??... Infront of the person whos birthday it was. Cats out of the bag now.

We proceeded to eat our meals have the " surprise " cake and couple of drinks from the bar. Upon leaving the birthday guest got violently ill from what he knows was something he had consumed during the evening. It was very worrying.

Mr A's Brasserie - by William1

William1 — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:30:25 +0000

Review by William1

Rating: 5.00

Tags: crowded, amazing brew, top food

A family-run Brasserie serving great food in a very relaxed setting. Becoming increasingly busy which is well deserved. The breakfast is just what the doctor ordered after a nite out. Top marks!A family-run Brasserie serving great food in a very relaxed setting. Becoming increasingly busy which is well deserved. The breakfast is just what the doctor ordered after a nite out. Top marks!

Balham Glass & Joinery - excellent service by mrshucks

mrshucks — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:48:34 +0000

Review by mrshucks

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 020 8675 1640

Tags: joinery

i have been very impressed with the staff at Balham Joinery who were recommended to me by my neighbour.

The couldnt be more helpful offering a quality build at a reasonable price.

i have been very impressed with the staff at Balham Joinery who were recommended to me by my neighbour.

The couldnt be more helpful offering a quality build at a reasonable price.

Light Of Gurkha - Great Restaurant by tfraughen

tfraughen — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 10:07:03 +0000

Review by tfraughen

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 02086734160

Tags: lively, indian, good value

Great food!! Lively atmosphere and great decor..... will definitely recommend it to all my friends. Had a really good evening out!Great food!! Lively atmosphere and great decor..... will definitely recommend it to all my friends. Had a really good evening out!

Mini Mundus - Great Food Good Value - Great for the Family by cherylmc

cherylmc — Sat, 16 May 2009 22:25:39 +0000

Review by cherylmc

Rating: 4.00

Phone: 020 8767 5810

Tags: french, good value, family & home feel

Had a lovely lunch here with parents and kids; which can be difficult with an age range of 70 to 1. The food was good quality french style and great value for money.Service was relaxed but attentive; however it was fairly quiet time so can't comment on if it gets busy.
Plus points from the kids aspect was they did child portions of the main meals and childrens meals turned up with our starters.

Will we go back, most definitely!

Note: They were changing the signage outside while we were there. Now to be called "Bellvue Brasserie".Had a lovely lunch here with parents and kids; which can be difficult with an age range of 70 to 1. The food was good quality french style and great value for money.Service was relaxed but attentive; however it was fairly quiet time so can't comment on if it gets busy.
Plus points from the kids aspect was they did child portions of the main meals and childrens meals turned up with our starters.

Will we go back, most definitely!

Note: They were changing the signage outside while we were there. Now to be called "Bellvue Brasserie".

The Grove - Superb by steve123

steve123 — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:47:31 +0000

Review by steve123

Rating: 5.00

Phone: 020 86736531

Tags: gastro pub, jazz, friendly

Went to the Grove despite the reviews as it is local and I was very surprised. It's a beautiful pub with open fires and a lovely dining room.

We went on a Sunday so it was busy but we were served quickly and our food arrived within 10 minutes. The roast was the best I have ever had in a pub and the burger was very good too.

The staff were very attentive and offered table service even when busy.

Not sure if something has changed since the other reviews but I loved this pub.Went to the Grove despite the reviews as it is local and I was very surprised. It's a beautiful pub with open fires and a lovely dining room.

We went on a Sunday so it was busy but we were served quickly and our food arrived within 10 minutes. The roast was the best I have ever had in a pub and the burger was very good too.

The staff were very attentive and offered table service even when busy.

Not sure if something has changed since the other reviews but I loved this pub.

Emmi's - At the heart of the local community by RobertDoyle

RobertDoyle — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:39:41 +0000

Review by RobertDoyle

Rating: 4.00

Phone: 020 8675 3638

Tags: wines, mediterranean, delicatessen

Emmi's is a well kept secret for residents of Telford Park (the western bit of Streatham Hill) and Hyde Farm (the easternmost fringes of Balham).

Those relying on the weekend colour supplements for their information probably still believe that until the arrival of Trinity Stores in Balham there was nowhere to buy good delicatessen produce on this side of SW12.

Although Emmi's doesn't aspire to the foodie heights (or the prices) of Trinity Stores, it continues to provide a well selected range of deli staples - well chosen Italian meats and salamis, a useful and well kept cheese selection, and home made items, together with a useful range of standard groceries that you may have forgotten on your supermarket shop.Emmi's is a well kept secret for residents of Telford Park (the western bit of Streatham Hill) and Hyde Farm (the easternmost fringes of Balham).

Those relying on the weekend colour supplements for their information probably still believe that until the arrival of Trinity Stores in Balham there was nowhere to buy good delicatessen produce on this side of SW12.

Although Emmi's doesn't aspire to the foodie heights (or the prices) of Trinity Stores, it continues to provide a well selected range of deli staples - well chosen Italian meats and salamis, a useful and well kept cheese selection, and home made items, together with a useful range of standard groceries that you may have forgotten on your supermarket shop.

Fine Burger Co - CLOSED - CLOSED by ONscotland

ONscotland — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:56:04 +0000

Review by ONscotland

Rating: 1.00

Phone: 020 8772 0266

Website: http://www.fineburger.co.uk

Tags: american, takeaway, vegetarian dishes

I visited here in January and had stomach ache after my lunch. The milkshakes were delicious, but they got my order wrong and I didn't like the substituted chicken salad and I think that's what made me ill.
It was also freezing.

It's all academic now - Fine Burger Company in Balham is now CLOSED.I visited here in January and had stomach ache after my lunch. The milkshakes were delicious, but they got my order wrong and I didn't like the substituted chicken salad and I think that's what made me ill.
It was also freezing.

It's all academic now - Fine Burger Company in Balham is now CLOSED.

Le Petit Bistrot - Cheap and nasty fry up by omnivorous75

omnivorous75 — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:23:07 +0000

Review by omnivorous75

Rating: 2.00

Tags: quick bite, crowded, good brew

Firstly, I must state that I have been in here once before for lunch, and had a most pleasant experience. I went for the savory pancakes, washed down with a blueberry smoothie - it was a treat. And the table service was excellent. It is also very child friendly which makes it a big plus in this heavily toddler populated area of south london! So it came as a bit of a big disappointment to experience a very mediocre breakfast at the very same establishment the other weekend with my girlfriend. I was heavily hungover from the night before, and my body craved a ginormous fry up. The menu looked fab - a choice of supersized fry up, regular-sized fry up, or veggie.... eggs benedict, hash browns, chips, the lot. After waiting at least 15 mins, and being completely ignored by the waitresses (we were the only people there), I realised that maybe it wasn't table service, and I had to go up to order.. which i did without any complaint (but it would have been nice to have been told). The breakfasts arrived without much wait. Cappuccino was given the thumbs up, and my tea was ok. Trouble started when my missus squirted the ketchup from the 'Heinz tomato ketchup' bottle. It wasn't Heinz ketchup. It was dark pink in colour. It tasted rank and artificial. Looking around at the steadily filling tables, I couldn't believe no-one was batting an eyelid at their blatantly fraudulant bottles of 'Heinz' ketchup. The bottles were pre-painted a 'Heinz' red colour, so you couldn't see the dark pink colour of the fake stuff inside. Surely this kind of deceiving behaviour is illegal? What do they take us for? Mugs?! The 'HP Sauce' bottle was the same. NOT the real deal. Then came the actual food. Bacon was not bacon. It was more like... thin slivers of fake ham. I've never seen anything like it. The sausage was totally cheap and nasty. Cheap and nasty ingredients all round. And they charge #4.99 for this crap! Rip off merchants!!! It's a shame because the ambiance and feel of the place with their Fairtrade coffees and French background makes you think the food will be good quality. But after that experience, I won't be going back there for breakfast!
Firstly, I must state that I have been in here once before for lunch, and had a most pleasant experience. I went for the savory pancakes, washed down with a blueberry smoothie - it was a treat. And the table service was excellent. It is also very child friendly which makes it a big plus in this heavily toddler populated area of south london! So it came as a bit of a big disappointment to experience a very mediocre breakfast at the very same establishment the other weekend with my girlfriend. I was heavily hungover from the night before, and my body craved a ginormous fry up. The menu looked fab - a choice of supersized fry up, regular-sized fry up, or veggie.... eggs benedict, hash browns, chips, the lot. After waiting at least 15 mins, and being completely ignored by the waitresses (we were the only people there), I realised that maybe it wasn't table service, and I had to go up to order.. which i did without any complaint (but it would have been nice to have been told). The breakfasts arrived without much wait. Cappuccino was given the thumbs up, and my tea was ok. Trouble started when my missus squirted the ketchup from the 'Heinz tomato ketchup' bottle. It wasn't Heinz ketchup. It was dark pink in colour. It tasted rank and artificial. Looking around at the steadily filling tables, I couldn't believe no-one was batting an eyelid at their blatantly fraudulant bottles of 'Heinz' ketchup. The bottles were pre-painted a 'Heinz' red colour, so you couldn't see the dark pink colour of the fake stuff inside. Surely this kind of deceiving behaviour is illegal? What do they take us for? Mugs?! The 'HP Sauce' bottle was the same. NOT the real deal. Then came the actual food. Bacon was not bacon. It was more like... thin slivers of fake ham. I've never seen anything like it. The sausage was totally cheap and nasty. Cheap and nasty ingredients all round. And they charge #4.99 for this crap! Rip off merchants!!! It's a shame because the ambiance and feel of the place with their Fairtrade coffees and French background makes you think the food will be good quality. But after that experience, I won't be going back there for breakfast!