24th June 2007
Purple and Black - never look back
Down on the quayside of the Tyne there are several hotels, but the cream of the crop, is the Malmaison.
I've stayed a few times, and everytime the room has blown me away. I once had a slightly smaller room at the back of the hotel, and it was still fabulous. The best room I ever had faced onto the river with a wonderful view of the Millennium Bride and the Sage Centre, a bed that I could lie sideways across and not touch the edges, and a shower which was like standing under a waterfall.
The hotel itself is set slightly back from the waters edge, with parking in a separate building across the road. Ask reception for a discounted parking pass when you check out.
From the reception door to the bathroom in your room, I think the designers were going for the upper-class S&M club theme. There's no escaping it with the purple velvet sofas and leather padded lift (which speaking in French), to the beds which are right out of a Hammer Horror vampire film and the (fake) fur rugs underfoot. It's brilliant - and very different to the airy-breezy-white-on-white Changing Rooms style of the Hilton across the river.
The staff have always been very helpful, especially when I've ended up changing plans at the last moment, consolidating bookings and checking out a day early etc. They found my an empty pint glass for my flowers, and when I ordered a pint of soda water from rooms service the gentleman asked if I'd rather have a pint of sparkling water and save myself 4 quid becaus ethey didn't have draft softdrinks only the silly little bottles! Fabulous.
Speaking of room service, the MalBurger is just great. Cooked as you request (medium rare in my case) and server on a rough cut breadbun with chunky chips and salad, it's one of the best burgers I've eaten in the UK. It's not a classic burger by any means, but it is one of the meatiest I've had.
The bathrooms in the bedrooms are great too. With a shower head over a foot wide set high above the bath, and water temperatures ranging from icy cold to skin-flayingly hot, the water rains down on you like a waterfall, scouring a busy day in the office off you like nothing else. The complimentary breath freshener is so nice I nick it every time, and would buy them myself if I could find where they sell them.
The only thing to watch is I once had a room close to the main (French speaking) lifts, and it was a little noisy with all the people coming back from bars and pubs at midnight, but as thats my only complaint - I don't think you can beat this place in a month of Sundays.