Hilton Manchester

skipchris

Costly and Curt 26th April 2008

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Every cloud, however dark, has a silver lining. Take for instance the "global credit crunch" (and leave your cynicism about whether the effects of the 'crunch' have been amplified by hyterical media reporting at the door).

If there is indeed a crunch, it's no doubt going to be pretty joyless in some respects. But one silver lining I'm hoping for is a reduction in the credit-fuelled-footballers-wife-aspirant lifestyle so currently prevalent, which values venue-namedropping above service, quality, and, above all, fun. The name for this culture, coined, right now, by me, is Costly and Curt. I may be pissing into the wind, but the campaign for the banishment of Costly and Curt starts right here. Join me, and let's start a tearoom together...

Epitomising "Costly and Curt" is the Hilton Manchester Deansgate. I was there for the North East Swot Awards on Thursday (I didn't win). I hate chain hotels at the best of times. However obsequious the marketing, however soft-focus the photography, it always glares through to me that I am not a guest; I am potential profit. The chain hotel's mission in life is to sell me as many things as possible at as high a price as they dare, whilst spending the bare minimum on doing this selling, for example in staff training, or simple goods quality.

The meal was fine. Nothing wrong with it, standard C&B fare. My creme bruleé was actually pretty good. The Deansgate suite is a pleasant enough C&B room. The 'spiral staircase' atrium is actually fairly cool. The staff asking each of my colleagues in turn to order drinks at our table felt more like begging than hospitality. The bar staff were badly trained and rude. Other than that, there was very little wrong with the night, but very little right. The whole function could've been held in a Travelodge, it would've been none the worse off in terms of service and quality, but my wallet would've left been a hell of a lot better off. Let's get back to cheap and cheerful.