Wellcome Collection Cafe

And now it's time for...a cafe that hasn't even opened yet.

Trusted Places' first scoop?

The Wellcome Collection is a new venue for art, science and medicine. It's ace. Really. Go.

At the time of writing - 4.40 am - it hasn't officially opened to the public. I wangled a sneak preview, on account of me being a spawny git.

The cultural spaces are amongst the best in London. Unless you detest medicine, science, history and art, you'll find much of interest.

Those who prefer eating things to looking at things are also in for a treat. The associated Payton & Byrne cafe is the best on Euston Road. Which, come to think of it, isn't really saying much.

It's mostly pastries and salads, though some warm dishes are available. I had a fig roll.

Now, the attraction with fig rolls is in the stacking. Many's the time I've constructed elaborate dry-stone walls, or sweatmeat pyramids from a packet of these quasi-biscuits. A more permanent fixture can be achieved using some kind of edible cement, such as a jam.

This fig roll was totally at odds with my previous experiences. For starters, it had no friends. Stacking food is no fun if you only have one item. Secondly, it was rounded and crumbly. This could compromise any structure built from an aggregation of such rolls.

So I was forced to eat it.

There's a nice ambience about the place, with everything from trays to plates to comfy chairs covered in the Wellcome colourscheme. Antony Gormley hangs from the ceiling, possibly glued on with jam. The salt and pepper come in strange shakers, which look suspiciously like specimen jars. And nearby, the bookshop offers advice on diet and obesity.

In summary: clinical upholstery, full of medics.