Tenth Bar

I have stooped low before and I will again. I like keeping great places, especially ones that are never busy for reasons I cannot fathom, a secret, but I like you guys; huddle in.

The Royal Garden Hotel on Ken High Street is not the prettiest hotel in the world, inside or out. It does FEEL old though, in that great way old hotels do - especially in London. Brass fitments that gleam as if new with polish but you just know they have been attended to twice a day for years, under the direction of an unexplainably posh hotel manager. This hotel was one of the England football team's residences during the 1966 world cup. Its not even very old but it has that feeling.

Its also got that feeling that old hotels have of deadened silence, like you don't belong there, or shouldn't be making a noise, like an imposing gallery (the Turner section of the Tate Britain) or museum (the old insect section of the Natural History that families avoid) or great library (the Bodleian at Oxford) or society (The Royal Society building, just off Pall Mall). That is such a great feeling. Deafening silence mingled with austerity and history.

(All of those places in brackets - go to them)

Anyway.

After stopping briefly to suck in THAT feeling, pass through the foyer, get in the lift and get up to the tenth floor.

You will find an uninspiring bar, leatherish bucket seats, blonde wood veneer, brass buttoned barman.

But the view. Across Hyde Park from the south western corner you can see the whole park but more than that; beyond you can see a panorama of London stretching from Kensington Palace on your left to Battersea Power Station on your right.

You can sit there pointing out landmarks for hours, drinking in the view. You can see, in no particular nor extensive order, the big spinny wheel, the BT tower, Centre Point, the Houses of Parliament, the Royal Society Building (see above), the Royal Albert Hall, 30 St Mary's Axe (the Gherkin), Westminster Abbey, Canary Wharf and all those tosspots rollerblading around below you. (Also if you are reading this in a few years' time, possibly in a book or book-like digital tablet, you can see the "Shard of Glass".)

For this reason I suggest going in daylight (I have never been at night), in fact just before sundown at this time of year (early winter) would be great. I am also reliably(ish) informed that there is a half-price Champagne between 6-7pm Mon-Fri promotion running.

Now, if that isn't reason enough to get down there, you are made of stone. This place is WAY better than that bloody wheel and you aren't charged fifteen quid for the privilege.